


Harry (and therefore Ron & Hermione) are only mostly dead.

by youngjusticewriter



Series: How to save a life. [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Child Abuse, Crack, Dumbledore Bashing, Gen, Hermione Granger is a Good Friend, I blame Pandora, I shouldn't write fanfiction, Never Have I Ever, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, but not really but sort of, lots of references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 18:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjusticewriter/pseuds/youngjusticewriter
Summary: Harry's life (and there for Ron and Hermione's too) and safety at Hogwarts had been as existent as the grace a freshman has when pulling off a panty girdle. Which is a rather crude way of saying none at all.It takes a game of Never Have I Ever to realize that.(A/N: You may thank Thomas Harris' Red Dragon and PurpleButtons0203('s) Never Have I Ever for this fic.)





	Harry (and therefore Ron & Hermione) are only mostly dead.

It's starts like this: "We could play Never Have I Ever." 

If given the choice, Hermione would rather read the books she packed with her (the Black family's library was, despite being a book worm, something Hermione wouldn't even touch with a twenty nine and a half foot pole because of the dark magic being the only subject of all the books in the library) while enjoying a warm cup of Earl Grey tea with Crookshanks purring in her lap as she absentmindedly stroked her cat. 

Sadly for Hermione (and later Harry), that was not the case. Or rather Hermione was not given this choice. 

Idle hands were the devil's workshop was a muggle saying that fit the situation Hermione Jean Granger was in. You see the occupants of twelve Grimmauld Place had spent all day cleaning encouraged (read encouraged here as: ordered or fearfully done so in fear of a tongue lashing) by Mrs. Weasley and despite being tired they were bored. 

(Or perhaps this is where it started: Pandora releasing boredom, along with all the other evils of this world, from the pithos....Huh. Guess curiosity did kill the cat.) 

(Wait I now have a question to ask then  
we'll be back to your regular scheduled Harry Potter fanfic. Does that mean curiosity is the root of all evil? ...Nah. Zeus was already a rapist and child eater to name a few things before he and the other gods created Pandora.) 

Anyway Hermione would be okay because she had her books. Fred, George, and Sirius not so much. Then there were Hermione's best friends Harry and Ron. Unlike some map makers and twins those two (and therefore Hermione) didn't cause trouble for trouble's sake. Or as Harry once put it: they didn't go looking for trouble, trouble found them. 

So yeah Hermione would not (read not here with great emphasis) be leaving her friends to be bored in a house full of dark materials. (No, not the amazing book series but genuine dark magic materials that the Black family was so fond of because why not?) 

That was why Hermione looked up (read look up here, if you're a Weasley twin, as glared an Avada Kedavra before shooting down their idea) from her book and suggested Never Have I Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Here have this instead of an update of my many incomplete fics. 
> 
> Any other news I had a stressful day and I started a fic where's there's going to be terrible humor along with the characters realizing on how f@ked up Harry Potter life has been (even before Sirius died). 
> 
> Warning: there will be without a doubt Dumbledore bashing. (God never let my mom find this.) 
> 
> I have mixed feelings about Mrs.Weasley so there probably is going to be a little bit  
> of bashing of character. 
> 
> While Ron and Hermione are tagged as good friends (because they are, they're the only ones there for Harry in the series) they might be called on some stuff. Harry might will be called out on some stuff. It depends on where I go with this.
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr.](http://whenthemarshmallowmettheslayer.tumblr.com)


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